“How did it get over here?” Confused and furious Allen bent over to pick up he’s beaten up shoe from the trash. He’s so-called friends had forced he’s shoe off and run all over the school with it as a “joke”. By the end of their lunch the two friends had ditched the shoe off grounds making Allen hobble to class with no shoes. Lucky for him the teacher’s didn’t pay much attention to the people in the back row so he didn’t get in trouble. It wasn’t until after the end of the day that he went looking for it. It wasn’t to far off from the school though. The Shoe was in a trash can by a closed down store by the school. Allen eye’s watered as he quickly gasped for air and covered he’s mouth. It smelled of old horse radish and rotten eggs when he put it on. Trying he’s best to ignore the people that where staring at him in disgust, Allen began marching to the school to yell at he’s friends to buy him a new pair of shoes but knew that they would just laugh and tell him that it was he’s fault for being so week. Knowing this he sighed and started he’s long walk home. Allen was more mature and week for his age. He was fairly tall and skinny with barely any muscle. He had short jet black hair but had piercing blue eye’s making he’s glare the only thing that could scare people. He was always the odd one out with he’s friend. He’s two friends, Jean and Breda where muscular boy’s they were both blonde and pale and had a thing with bullying the littler kids. Allen was often singled out with Jean’s girlfriend, Riza who often hanged out with them now that they were going out. She was also a blonde but had a stern face. Riza always seemed to be calm and cool when ever something bad or exciting happen. Allen could see why Jean liked her, he himself even had a crush on her but he couldn’t make any moves knowing that Jean had liked her ever since elementary school. Allen, Jean, and Breda had known each other ever since they were little and even now they where in high school, they where still as close as any group of friends could be. At least that’s what Allen wanted to believe. He wanted to believe that he was still the little boy who had thought that he would never get married that he would just be a little kid forever. Allen actually started to hate he’s friends.
He started to hate all of their conversations about sports, girls and stuff that doesn’t even make any sense to people rather than the trio. He thought he was better than them. The reason why they took he’s shoe in the first place was because Allen had started to mouth off about every little thing Jean and Breda said.
“You really think it’s that funny?” mused Allen as the three walked around the school campus. Breda and Jean were both laughter historically about something that Jean had seen on T.V. the night before. “Actually yeah you have a problem with that?” The three had stopped walking now for Jean and Allen where giving evil glares at each other. “Yeah it’s just that it’s a bit sad when you’re around idiots that laugh at every little thing.” Jean’s face scrunched up like he had just eaten something sour but went mad as a dog as soon as he found out what he was going to do to him. He slid he’s foot under Allen’s shoe with much force. Allen’s head spun in confusion as he’s head hit the floor with a load “Thump”. He wasn’t able to get up at first from the shock of it all but when he did Allen felt the moist squishy feeling of the dirt under he’s now bare feet. Allen looked up in fury as he saw he’s so called friend run away with he’s two shoes in he’s hands. He looked over at Breda who stood their holding he’s breath trying not to laugh at the boy who was giving him a death glare. It was a long time before any of them moved. “You probably want your shoes back don’t you?” Breda said as he pointed to the direction Jean had run to. Allen shook he’s head slowly as he started to run in he’s bare feet
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Wow! Great lead sentence, using dialogue! I love it!
ReplyDeleteI also loved the vocabulary words "hobble", "gasped", "ditched", "discussed", "glares", "scrunched" and "slid". EXCELLENT!
There are a few spelling errors--I noticed that you use "he's" when you should use "his", like "HIS two shoes" or "HIS now bare feet".
I really enjoyed the sensory detail of smell ("old horse radish and rotten eggs")--very nice. Your simile, "mad as a dog" is great.
I also appreciated the physical details you provided about your characters.
Maybe you could use more paragraphing...and when characters speak, INDENT and start a NEW line (this will also give the effect of a new paragraph).
Great work!
:)