The Journey to Find the Samsquatch...REVISED =]

The Journey to Find the Samsquatch… Revised

Once upon A time Denzel Washington, Ben Lafleur, And Casper Stene decided they were bored enough to go find the Samsquatch atop the Diego Mountains. This is how the story begins... “DUDE. LETS GO TO FIND THE SAMSQUATCH!” Says Ben and Casper in unison. So off they went to the teleporter the take them to his lair. On their way to the teleporter they figured bringing food and equipment. So they decided to go to the equipment shop that just so happened to have been driving by. “Welcome to Lazy Bob’s equipment van! What can I get for yeh today?” “Well...” said Ben “I guess we could just buy your van..” As Lazy Bob contemplates the idea of selling his van and living with his mother again a smile crosses his face. “Sure yeh can! Just be sure to wash out the stains in the back seat.” Ben, Casper, And Denzel wince. “It’s a deal!” says Denzel.
The next day Casper has a thought “Hey, since we have a van, why don’t we make it a road trip?” Ben agrees. Denzel thinks for a second and says “Denzel don’t really like road trips, but wants to come. DENZEL’S IN!” and so they went. Ben started the van and it sputtered and belched out a foul Rainbow gas. As Ben saw the rainbow gas he had a flashback. When Ben was four his father taught him the art of funk. “Son” Ben’s father said, “It’s come time you learn of the funk. Once upon a time there was a magical funky space creature. He crashed on earth and I took him in and eh taught me the ways of the funk. Now I shall teach you.” And so Ben learned the funk. And they key thing about the funk is the Funkeeeh van, The Funkmobile. Ben remembers his dad saying that it spewed out rainbow smoke. “OH MY GOD. WERE IN THE FUNKMOBILE!” said Ben. “Are we in that godly vehicle? This vehicle is a vehicle only of legend. And if I remember the legend right the funk is hidden in the glove compartment of the vehicle.” Ben opened the glove compartment to find a Rainbow disco ball with funky tentacles. “It’s the funk!” they all cried and ran to see they Funky god. “Hey yall immm the funk and I think we should find the sasmsqauuanchy.” “Yes, Denzel thinks we should… and you should teach us some of your funky skills.”
So off they went on their perilous journey to find the elusive beast, the Sasquatch.
“So Ben? How does this Funkmobile work?” said Casper fiddle with some of the funky doodads. “What does this button do?” As Casper says that he pulls the level and the Funkmobile shoots a laser on the road and a rainbow appeared in front of them. The group all gasps except the funk who says “Yall who summon yonder funky rainbow can ride it to wherever their funky mind takes em!” Ben says “well why don’t we take the rainbow to the Diego Mountains?” “Denzel want to take the rainbow and learn bout’ more funk!” Casper replied “Yes indeed, why don’t we take the rainbow it will reduce our traveling time by 87.5%” Everyone gasped at Casper’s mathematical equation. “Casper! We thought you are retarded!” They all cried. “Well contradicting to fact I was retarded most of my life but recently something clicked in my brain and I was suddenly exponentially smarter than my state before. I kept quiet because I thought you would make me write your college application Ben” Ben shuffles his failed college application to the garbage can. “Well Casper, maybe you could do my application?” Ben says with a beaming smile on his face. Casper had no reply. After the stunning absence of sound in the Funkmobile, Denzel slammed on the gas and sailed up the rainbow…